The Exempt

Most definitely not our new house

So here’s a summary of the dvar torah I said at our recent Channukat Bayit(Housewarming Party).

Channukat Bayit in the Torah

What is the Torah source of the “Channukat Bayit”? Well, at the basic level, there is none. This is a fairly recent tradition, not a mitzvah listed in the Torah. At the same time, the term “Channukat Bayit” does appear in the Torah, in Dvarim 20 in the list of three categories of soldier who are sent home at the start of a war. They are: 

1. One who has built a new house but not yet lived in it.
2. One who has planted a vineyard but not yet reaped the fruit
3. One how has betrothed a woman but not yet married her

א כִּי תֵצֵא לַמִּלְחָמָה עַל אֹיְבֶיךָ וְרָאִיתָ סוּס וָרֶכֶב עַם רַב מִמְּךָ, לֹא תִירָא מֵהֶם, כִּי יְהוָה אֱלֹהֶיךָ עִמָּךְ הַמַּעַלְךָ מֵאֶרֶץ מִצְרָיִם. ב וְהָיָה כְּקָרָבְכֶם אֶל הַמִּלְחָמָה, וְנִגַּשׁ הַכֹּהֵן וְדִבֶּר אֶל הָעָם. ג וְאָמַר אֲלֵהֶם שְׁמַע יִשְׂרָאֵל אַתֶּם קְרֵבִים הַיּוֹם לַמִּלְחָמָה עַל אֹיְבֵיכֶם, אַל יֵרַךְ לְבַבְכֶם אַל תִּירְאוּ וְאַל תַּחְפְּזוּ וְאַל תַּעַרְצוּ, מִפְּנֵיהֶם. ד כִּי יְהוָה אֱלֹהֵיכֶם הַהֹלֵךְ עִמָּכֶם, לְהִלָּחֵם לָכֶם עִם אֹיְבֵיכֶם לְהוֹשִׁיעַ אֶתְכֶם. ה וְדִבְּרוּ הַשֹּׁטְרִים אֶל הָעָם לֵאמֹר מִי הָאִישׁ אֲשֶׁר בָּנָה בַיִת חָדָשׁ וְלֹא חֲנָכוֹ יֵלֵךְ וְיָשֹׁב לְבֵיתוֹ, פֶּן יָמוּת בַּמִּלְחָמָה וְאִישׁ אַחֵר יַחְנְכֶנּוּ. ו וּמִי הָאִישׁ אֲשֶׁר נָטַע כֶּרֶם וְלֹא חִלְּלוֹ, יֵלֵךְ וְיָשֹׁב לְבֵיתוֹ, פֶּן יָמוּת בַּמִּלְחָמָה וְאִישׁ אַחֵר יְחַלְּלֶנּוּ. ז וּמִי הָאִישׁ אֲשֶׁר אֵרַשׂ אִשָּׁה וְלֹא לְקָחָהּ, יֵלֵךְ וְיָשֹׁב לְבֵיתוֹ, פֶּן יָמוּת בַּמִּלְחָמָה וְאִישׁ אַחֵר יִקָּחֶנָּה. ח וְיָסְפוּ הַשֹּׁטְרִים לְדַבֵּר אֶל הָעָם וְאָמְרוּ מִי הָאִישׁ הַיָּרֵא וְרַךְ הַלֵּבָב יֵלֵךְ וְיָשֹׁב לְבֵיתוֹ, וְלֹא יִמַּס אֶת לְבַב אֶחָיו כִּלְבָבוֹ. ט וְהָיָה כְּכַלֹּת הַשֹּׁטְרִים לְדַבֵּר אֶל הָעָם, וּפָקְדוּ שָׂרֵי צְבָאוֹת בְּרֹאשׁ הָעָם. {ס}

Rashi begins by defining the term for us. “Channukat Bayit” here refers to the fact of starting to live in one’s new house. One who has build a new house but not yet lived in it is sent back from the front

ולא חנכו – לא דר בו, חינוך לשון התחלה

We’re given the reason that it is possible he will die in the war and another will live in the house. Rashi explains that it is in order to avoid this added level of personal tragedy that this soldier is sent home.

ואיש אחר יחנכנו - ודבר של עגמת נפש הוא זה.

These sort of exceptions to prevent personal tragedy are well-known to us from the Modern era, for instance, the Sole Survivor policy. Nevertheless, this seems a bit arbitrary. Certainly there are many possible similar situations that the torah should worry about. For instance, shouldn’t we worry about a father to many kids and the effect his potential death would have on his own family?


The Rashbam and Ramban each take a more pragmatic approach. They both argue that the presence of these three categories of soldiers will damage the combat readiness of the army, since they will have lower morale and will be more likely to flee in the face of the enemy.

רשב"ם

ילך וישוב לביתו - ...שיש נותן אל לבו כשהולך למלחמה ודואג שמא אין לי מזל לחנך את ביתי או את אשתי או את כרמי ולכך גרם מזלי ללכת עתה במלחמה ומתוך [כך] ירא למות. ושלשה מעשים הזכיר בית ואשה וכרם, ולבסוף כולל כל הדברים מי האיש הירא ורך הלבב, בין באלו שאמרנו בין בדברים אחרים.

רמב"ן

וצוה על השלשה האלה לשוב, כי לבו על ביתו וכרמו ועל אשתו וינוס

Seeking a more Fundamental Concept

Now I think the Rishonim's arguments make a lot of sense. That said, in yeshiva we learned to seek out explanations that are more fundamental and less based on subjective assumptions about Human psychology, so I think there is room to look for another explanation.

Before we do seek out another explanation, I just want to mention a drasha from the Gemara in Sota 54A.

תנו רבנן למדה תורה דרך ארץ שיבנה בית ויטה כרם ואחר כך ישא אשה

Here, Chazal learn from the order of the three exceptions that one should first make sure that one’s physical and financial wellbeing are provided for before marrying and starting a family. The gemara refers to this natural progression as “Derech Eretz”. We’ll come back to this association of our pasuk with derech eretz…

Now, let’s look at a passage from Robert Heinlein’s military fiction classic “Starship Troopers”, a book rife with philosophizing about war and life as a soldier. Heinlein describes the effect on the all-male Marines of being on a co-ed ship and of having female pilots who drop them in the combat zone:

“Let's skip tradition for a moment. Can you think of anything sillier than being fired out of a spaceship with nothing but mayhem and sudden death at the other end? However, if someone must do this idiotic stunt, do you know a surer way to keep a man keyed up to the point where he is willing than by keeping him constantly reminded that the only good reason why men fight is a living, breathing reality?
In a mixed ship the last thing a trooper hears before a drop (maybe the last word he ever hears) is a woman's voice, wishing him luck. If you don't think this is important you've probably resigned from the human race.”

Heinlein presents us here with a dual model. He ends with the psychological effect on the Marines’ morale, but he begins with a more fundamental argument about “the only good reason why men fight”.

I’d like to suggest that our parsha also presents us with such a dualism. On one hand we have the psychological effect on morale mentioned by the rishonim. On the other hand, there is a more fundamental statement being made here about why we fight. When the Torah brings these men all the way to the front only to then release them in a public ceremony, it is making a statement.

There has been a general draft. Everyone has stopped whatever they were doing, has left their homes, their farms, their families in order to take part in the war. One might learn the lesson that in terms of values, fighting in wars is of primary importance, while engaging in life’s everyday activities is secondary. Historically, there have been a number of Warrior Cultures who have built a philosophy of war as a way of life(in fact, the society that Heinlein imagines is of this ilk.) In releasing this small group of combat-ready soldiers because of their engagement in “Derech Eretz”, the Torah states definitively that the opposite is the case. Right now, there is a present need for every able-bodied man to play his part in the war, but this is a special case. What Hashem really wants from us is that we serve him during our peace-time lives, of building houses, farming, and raising families. (As an additional note, I found this shiur by David Nativ where he suggests a similar pshat.)


So returning to our Channukat Bayit celebration, Hashem has brought us to this point in our life. It's fun moving into a new house, but we must remember that our everyday "derech eretz" existence is not merely for our own benefit, but is something that can be elevated to the level of service of God.

Klalot

I also wanted to just mention the other place this triple-formula appears, in Dvarim 28 in the parsha of klalot:

טו וְהָיָה אִם לֹא תִשְׁמַע בְּקוֹל יְהוָה אֱלֹהֶיךָ לִשְׁמֹר לַעֲשׂוֹת אֶת כָּל מִצְו‍ֹתָיו וְחֻקֹּתָיו אֲשֶׁר אָנֹכִי מְצַוְּךָ הַיּוֹם, וּבָאוּ עָלֶיךָ כָּל הַקְּלָלוֹת הָאֵלֶּה וְהִשִּׂיגוּךָ.... כט וְהָיִיתָ מְמַשֵּׁשׁ בַּצָּהֳרַיִם כַּאֲשֶׁר יְמַשֵּׁשׁ הָעִוֵּר בָּאֲפֵלָה וְלֹא תַצְלִיחַ אֶת דְּרָכֶיךָ, וְהָיִיתָ אַךְ עָשׁוּק וְגָזוּל כָּל הַיָּמִים, וְאֵין מוֹשִׁיעַ. ל אִשָּׁה תְאָרֵשׂ וְאִישׁ אַחֵר (ישגלנה) יִשְׁכָּבֶנָּה, בַּיִת תִּבְנֶה וְלֹא תֵשֵׁב בּוֹ, כֶּרֶם תִּטַּע וְלֹא תְחַלְּלֶנּוּ. לא שׁוֹרְךָ טָבוּחַ לְעֵינֶיךָ וְלֹא תֹאכַל מִמֶּנּוּ, חֲמֹרְךָ גָּזוּל מִלְּפָנֶיךָ וְלֹא יָשׁוּב לָךְ, צֹאנְךָ נְתֻנוֹת לְאֹיְבֶיךָ וְאֵין לְךָ מוֹשִׁיעַ. לב בָּנֶיךָ וּבְנֹתֶיךָ נְתֻנִים לְעַם אַחֵר וְעֵינֶיךָ רֹאוֹת וְכָלוֹת אֲלֵיהֶם כָּל הַיּוֹם, וְאֵין לְאֵל יָדֶךָ. לג פְּרִי אַדְמָתְךָ וְכָל יְגִיעֲךָ יֹאכַל עַם אֲשֶׁר לֹא יָדָעְתָּ, וְהָיִיתָ רַק עָשׁוּק וְרָצוּץ, כָּל הַיָּמִים. לד וְהָיִיתָ מְשֻׁגָּע מִמַּרְאֵה עֵינֶיךָ אֲשֶׁר תִּרְאֶה.

We can suggest the same double formula here. On one hand there’s a purely psychological message. Insult is added to injury when we lose everything just before we can benefit from all our hard work. But there’s another more fundamental layer of meaning. We said that what Hashem really wants is us to serve him in our everyday lives, but when we abandon his commandments, even these offerings are rejected before they can even be brought to fruition.